04th Jun 2011
Saturday // 11pm // 2 years ago
Death seems like the hardest thing humans face.
I lost my grandfather this afternoon.
They called hospice in this morning and he died this afternoon.
My parents were with him when he left this earth.
I have no doubt in my mind he is kicking it with Jesus,
But it is still hard. He won’t be at my wedding. He won’t meet my husband. He won’t know that my sister graduates high school and college. He won’t get to see who we grow up to be and make him proud. He doesn’t get to see our happily ever after.
Then I think about my mimi she married him when she was fifteen years old. Now he’s gone. Her soulmate left her here. That makes me cry the hardest. They had what everyone wants, now its just gone.
I woke when my parents left this morning and prayed constantly and just wept so hard, it just felt like things got hard too fast. I couldn’t function all day until he passed. Then things still hurt, and I still cried, but it was easier. I know he was 100% right with God and is waiting on me and the rest of my family, but I was still selfish, I still wanted him here.
Then a dear person in my life quoted these lyrics “Break my heart for what breaks yours” and I got to thinking, God is happy right now, one of his angels made it home with a UH-MAZING testimony and a HILARIOUS sense of humor, He was the biggest trickster! Like a 13 year old boy in his 60 something body. Why am I weeping, I should be celebrating, He is at his prime again, no more pain, no more oxygen tanks or nasty pills he hates or arthritis hands, he is dancing the streets of gold with our maker. He’s watching over me and probably pranking all the other angels with his baby brother Barney who left us not too long ago. I know I need to be strong for the rest of my family, because no matter how amazing it is where he is, we still miss him here.
Simply a see you later, no such thing as a permanent goodbye when you have Jesus in your heart.
Please pray for my family this week <3